A Sister’s Love: Found My Brother, Made Memories Amidst Heartbreak

In a story that beautifully illustrates the enduring power of family and the poignant nature of life’s journey, Jess Basey-Fisher, a nurse from Norfolk, England, embarked on a quest to find her long-lost brother, Alistair. Her search, fueled by a revelation from her late mother, Ann, led her across continents and brought unexpected, bittersweet moments.

The journey began six years ago when Jess’s father, Nicholas, shared a profound secret. Ann, his wife and Jess’s mother, had kept hidden until her death that she had a son from a previous relationship, a son she had given up for adoption. This revelation ignited a determination in Jess to find her older brother. “From the moment I found out, I was determined to find my older brother,” Jess shared. She knew little to go on – only that her mother had met the father at a US airbase in Sculthorpe, Norfolk, and had given birth in London in September 1962. Despite the limited information, Jess, with the support of her father, managed to locate her brother’s birth record on Ancestry. Her intuition led her to believe his name might be James, a hunch that proved correct.

Tragically, Jess’s father, Nicholas, passed away just months after revealing the family secret, unable to witness the reunion he had encouraged. Undeterred, Jess continued her search, eventually connecting with a social worker who located Alistair on Facebook in 2021. Renamed Alistair Dalgliesh, he resided in Queensland, Australia. After an initial exchange, a period of silence led Jess to fear he was not interested in reconnecting, but she persisted.

In October, Jess re-established contact, leading to a two-hour video call that she described as an “incredible moment.” Alistair, who had a loving adoptive family – his mother a nurse and his father a GP, mirroring Jess’s own parents – had always been aware of his adoption but hadn’t actively sought his birth family. He was living a happy life in Australia, having moved there with his adoptive parents when he was three under the Ten Pound Poms scheme. The reunion was filled with laughter, as both siblings noted their striking resemblance and shared mannerisms, a testament to their mother’s legacy.

Alistair expressed his joy at being found, stating, “I was really happy to be found. I had such a great upbringing with amazing parents, and I feel very lucky.” He also shared a poignant regret: not being able to reassure his biological mother that he was well. The siblings discovered a touching coincidence: Jess’s parents had married on Alistair’s birthday, six years after his birth, a detail that sent a shiver down Alistair’s spine and offered him a sense of continued connection to his mother.

The reunion took on a more somber tone when Alistair revealed he had been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. In a powerful act of love and solidarity, Jess traveled to Australia in April to be with him during his chemotherapy treatment, spending five weeks by his side. She described the time as “magical,” cherishing the moments of affection with Alistair and the warm embrace of his adoptive family, including his adoptive mother Marjorie, who was delighted to meet her. “He is the most loving person – he gave me a kiss and a hug every morning and night, and the whole family embraced me,” Jess recalled.

Looking ahead, Alistair is set to visit Jess in Norfolk in October to meet his wider family. While Jess mourns the lost years and her mother’s secret, she emphasizes a spirit of making the most of their time together. “I feel devastated for her and I feel cheated out of knowing Alistair for longer. But we are going to make the most of the time we have left,” she said.

The story of Jess and Alistair is a powerful reminder of the complexities of family, the resilience of the human spirit, and the profound importance of connection, even across great distances and against the backdrop of life’s greatest challenges.